A LITTLE TASTE OF APPALACHIA IN COLORADO
What can You say about Ward? A small town located west of Boulder full of an interesting mix of Rednecks,Drug addicts, Drug dealers,Homosexuals, Alcoholics,Criminals and assorted other social misfits.
A BREIF SUMMARY OF WARD
My first experience with Ward was in the late 80s when I took a job at Broken Arrow Ranch in Gold Hill Colorado a short distance from Ward. It was a small rather trashy little town who's greatest claim to fame was its "Home Rule" status which means basically it is a small government in itself and not subject to the rules of Boulder County in which it is located. It therefore attracts all manner of social rejects such as criminal types, drug dealers and users as Boulder county has no jurisdiction there and they can hide out relatively unmolested, My first experience with a "Wardie" was one named Brad Stevens who had the distinction of being not only the town drunk but the village idiot at the same time. I was on a lunch break from the ranch and went across the road to a guys cabin and this moron was there with several other people. He was wearing a gun and pulled said weapon out under the table and shot some other guy right in the foot for no apparent reason! Needless to say lunch was over. I don't recall there being any arrests over that incident and last I heard Brad had coughed up His esophagus and mercifully expired. The stories about this moron are endless. Unfortunatley the guy did manage to produce some offspring and His two homosexual sons Derik and Damo are still running around Ward wearing dresses, Carrying guns and swords (I kid You not) and basically carrying on the traditions of their idiot father! There are Many other "colorful" characters around Ward, Crazy Nate the schizophrenic, Stash who is so named for obvious reasons, Lex-another schizophrenic and too many others to name here. I find it amazing that this town can exist in this day and time and so close to a rather large contemporary city. I guess its not worth the time or energy for Boulder county to go in and weed out these nutcases.
I once made a remark about someones dreadlocks while sitting in the Millsite Bar in Ward and was informed that I was not "Culturally Enlightened".
I guess I am not if culturally enlightened means not bathing, doing drugs untill I am drooling on Myself or sleeping with one of the few women who are passed around Ward. A common response to the question "Is that Your girlfriend?" in Ward is "No, Its just My turn"
I guess if I were to sum this all up I would suggest that of the top ten places NOT to visit in Colorado on Your summer vacation, Ward would be #1. unless of course You enjoy being run off public property at gunpoint by guys in dresses or having Your campsite and or car looted while out hiking and enjoying the beautiful scenery. If You think I am exaggerating rest assured I am not. I am actually refraining from telling alot of stories that although true, would not be believed.
My employment as a water treatment tech. for various guest ranches along the front range unfortunatly forces Me to pass through this boil on the butt of the state of Colorado bi-monthly.
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